This post was originally published at Novelicious.com and is now at WritingTipsOasis.com. WritingTipsOasis.com acquired Novelicious.com in June 2022.
The timing couldn’t have been better – but at the time I thought it couldn’t have been worse.
When my agent began sending out my debut manuscript in June 2011, I had just lost my first baby halfway through the pregnancy, after several years of trying to conceive. I was devastated. Once the initial shock of the loss wore off, I felt empty – emotionally and, as the sagging skin around my middle kept reminding me, physically.
Some days I’d think everything had returned to normal, but other days I’d spot a pregnant woman in the grocery store, and my eyes would well with tears, and between hating this stranger and chastising myself for hating her, I’d think, “God, am I ever not going to feel this way?”
I hadn’t told my agent – or anyone other than close friends and family – about my pregnancy and subsequent loss, so she had no idea what I was going through. I didn’t want her to. It was too personal, too raw. But given my emotional state, I couldn’t contemplate facing rejection from a slew of publishers.
Because let’s face it: I was going to face rejection. All writers face rejection. It took Agatha Christie five years to get a book deal. JK Rowling was rejected twelve times in a row. Even those authors who get book deals get rejections, too. Was I ready for that? Could I really handle more disappointment?
I decided I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t tell my agent to un-send my manuscript, and even if I could, I didn’t want to. I’d never become a published writer if no one read my writing. 
A week after I lost the baby, I took the train to my parents’ house for a little TLC. They fed me and tended to my emotional wounds, while I tried not to think about my manuscript – who was reading it, what he or she thought, whether anyone would want to buy it.
Then, on the second day at my parents’, I got a call from my agent.
“We already have interest,” she said. “The editor at Ballantine emailed me, and Jill Schwartzman at Hyperion wants to set up a call.”
“A call? When?”
“How about tomorrow?”
I chatted with Jill the next day, and we clicked immediately. She loved my book. She had ideas about some changes and revisions, but as far as I was concerned, they were suggestions that would only make the book better.
“So…do I have an offer?” I asked my agent when we talked privately after the call.
“Not yet. But you will soon.”
Fast forward a week, and I ended up having another call with Crown and several emails from other publishers, including St. Martin’s. The book ended up going to auction, and in the end, I had two offers. I chose Jill at Hyperion because I loved her enthusiasm and vision for the book.
Of course the thrill of a book deal didn’t erase the emotional scars left by my pregnancy loss. Nothing can erase those scars entirely, not even the gorgeous baby boy to whom I gave birth two years later. But the experience helped me heal. It showed me that bad things can happen – will happen – but that good things can and will happen too, often when you least expect them. Life is full of both joy and pain, but if you have the courage and strength to get through the tough times, happiness is often just around the corner.
Dana's second book, The Stall of Second Chances, is out now.