The Launch of ‘The Middle Class ABC’ or… The Story of When Something BIG happened to Cesca

This post was originally published at Novelicious.com and is now at WritingTipsOasis.com. WritingTipsOasis.com acquired Novelicious.com in June 2022.

By Cesca Major
 
So last night, dressed in my London best, I pottered off to the launch of a gorgeous hard-back book published by John Murray called 'The Middle Class ABC' a collaboration by artist Zebedee Helm and Fi Cotter Craig. The location was just off Lupus Street (this will become a strangely exciting fact later in this story) in St Saviour’s Church, St George's Square in Pimlico. The hall had been decked out to resemble a middle class village fete with coffee (real) and jams from Bonne Maman on offer. Coats were taken, wine was poured and books were being signed in their dozens. An innocuous sign at one end of the hall read 'VIP Muster Area' and ironically THIS WAS THE ONLY AREA NOT CONTAINING FRANKLY DOZENS OF VIPS. You had Dawn French on your right, Derren Brown on your left, Gaby Roslin just behind you (I love her haircut) and Hugh Bonneville with IMPRESSIVE MASSIVE BEARD standing just over yonder.
 

We met the authors and duly had our books signed. The book is a marvellously witty walk through the 26 letters of the alphabet and is suitable for any loo in middle class England. Ranging from ‘A for allergies’ (Oh Orlando can't have milk, he's lactose intolerant etc) to ‘Z’ for ‘Zumba’ and stopping via P for ‘Pussy Willlow’ (to be found in every middle class home and not to be confused with a Wussy Pillow who does NOT want a pillow fight). It is absurd, colourful, wonderfully illustrated and should make a great Christmas present for your in-laws (tick).

 

So it was all very exciting and I was having a whale of a time. And then came the tap on my shoulder. It was my sister, "Cesca" she hissed, "Cesca… It's Stephen Fry, Oh my god, can we meet him, he's so funny, I can't believe he's here." She was correct and a few paces away stood the very tall and svelte figure of Stephen Fry. Now I'm not very good at explaining men's fashion so let's say he was looking very dapper, I'm pretty sure he was wearing something velvet and there was definitely purple in his attire but alas I was not being very eagle-eyed not thinking I would be

writing this up in such detail. So my sister (who by now was DEEPLY IMPRESSED by where I had dragged her) was hopping on one foot and I turned and said to her, "Come little sister I will get you an intro". Now I have always prided myself on being unfazed by celebrities sort of doing the whole Oh we're all human beings, it's silly to go to pieces over a celebrity, think of DOCTORS who save LIVES and we don't go to pieces over them’ etc. So I suppose you could say that my attitude towards celebrities is un-fussed, positively nonchalant in fact.

So off I trotted to muscle in on the poor man's conversation believing myself to be helping out my sister as any older sister should. Stephen Fry was utterly charming, a total delight in fact, barely raising an eyebrow about the whole muscling in thing and was just so nice and… well normal. So I turned to introduce my sister and that was when it happened… I turned to look behind me and… And… THERE WAS HUGH LAURIE STANDING RIGHT THERE NEXT TO HIM. i.e. NEXT TO STEPHEN FRY. Now I suppose I should qualify that there are three people in the world I am NOT nonchalant about. A) George Clooney (I know it's a cliché but don't pretend you wouldn't start dribbling and whimpering at the sight of him) b) Hugh Laurie ( he's amazing, just fantastic, I mean I watched 3 episodes of the last season of ‘House’ on Wednesday night and I turned to my husband, shook him by both shoulders and screamed in his face, “THIS IS GOING TO BE THE GREATEST TV SEASON EVER” and also he is HOT) and c) Julia Roberts (I can’t go into this in detail but anyone who follows me on Twitter will know that I love her, want to be her best friend and believe she is the greatest, most beautiful woman to walk the planet) sooo not nonchalant as you can read.  So I turn and see HUGH LAURIE who is standing NEXT TO STEPHEN FRY and I am instantly thinking “OH MY GOD IT IS MELCHETT AND GEORGE AND

THEY ARE IN TOUCHING DISTANCE OF ME” and that is when I did what is shown in the video below and when I also decided that I would touch Hugh Laurie (Sister later told me she saw him visibly flinch when I did).  I then proceeded to make my sister bow at them both, tell them they are legends, shook Stephen Fry’s hand an UNCOMFORTABLE number of times and walked off gibbering to then have to return and get my handbag which I had left in there.

 

No paparazzi were allowed to the event because strangely Hugh Laurie doesn’t like Superfans (thank goodness I played it so cool eh!) and so Novelicious is proud to present what is I imagine THE ONLY PICTURE of STEPHEN FRY AND HUGH LAURIE standing next to each other that anyone will see.  It in this photo.  I know Hugh might look a little like my dad but it is truly him and you can even make out Stephen’s shirt (purple).

So Novelicious there you go.  An extraordinary evening in which there is no doubt in my mind I made QUITE the impression.  I sincerely doubt whether John Murray Publishers will ever invite us to anything again but I TOUCHED AND TALKED TO HUGH LAURIE.  Oh and go and buy the book!  It’s great!  Over and out – BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! x x

 

And here's a video for you: I thought I would re-enact the moment in my kitchen at 2am last night.  I am whispering because my husband is upstairs sleeping and instinct told me he might not have seen the funny side.