This post was originally published at Novelicious.com and is now at WritingTipsOasis.com. WritingTipsOasis.com acquired Novelicious.com in June 2022.
By Anna Bell
Sometimes it’s as important to say no to things as it is yes, but it’s often harder to say no. I’ve got to the point now where I’m so busy, I’m having to learn to turn opportunities down. I’m one of those people that says yes when asked to do something before burying their head in the sand trying to ignore tasks piling up – secretly hoping people have forgotten I said yes in the first place. This week I’m trying to be brave and teach myself that it’s ok to turn things down.
When I first started trying to get published, I jumped at every opportunity. I was used to sacrificing social events and putting my writing first. I started reviewing books for Chicklit Club and writing this very column for Novelicious. On top of that, I was writing my novels. When I made the transition to full-time writing and started churning out more books (self-publishing some of them), I seemed to have the same amount of time as I did when I was working my previous job. It’s not just writing that takes up lots of time, it’s all of the little writing extras too. Yet now, with a new baby and a traditional publishing schedule with very real deadlines, I’ve had to take stock of my time, and I’ve started to say no.
I was recently asked to do an interview for a blogger. No problem, I thought. At the end of the day, it’s all good publicity, isn’t it? Only when the questions arrived, there were over twenty. I gulped and decided to answer them as quickly as I could – not usually the style I like to employ, but in that case, needs must. I did finish the interview, but it made me more mindful of simply saying yes to everything.
I’ve also stopped reviewing books for Chicklit Club. I’ve reviewed books for them for about four years, but I no longer have the time. It has been a hugely beneficial part of my writing journey. It exposed me to authors I’d never heard of and parts of the genre I’d never usually read. It allowed me to meet members of the publishing industry and gain an idea of how it all works. It was also a great way to think critically about what I was reading and what I did and didn’t like in books, and how that could have an impact on what I wrote. I have resisted giving that gig up before as I feel like it’s an end of a chapter, but there came a time when something had to give.
I’ve also learnt (the hard way) that I’ve got to be mindful of doing things in real time. I’m not a huge fan of online launch parties, but I’ve tried to support author friends with theirs in the past. I recently let an author, whose online party I said I’d “attend” by setting a competition question at a particular time, down. I missed the party by over an hour and I found I had messed things up for them. This has made me realise that my time isn’t always my own anymore. Trying to reprogramme yourself to believe that you’re not a failure because you can’t do everything is really hard. But I’ve decided that letting people down is far worse than not delivering what I had promised.
With authors and aspiring authors being pulled in so many directions, how do you decide what to do and what to decline?