started writing The Bad Boyfriend's Bootcamp, I needed to crack the very
epitome of a bad boyfriend. So I took a little survey of my friends. I thought
taking too much inspiration from my own other half might lead to all sorts of
libel/defamation/him sulking/me getting chucked issues. Besides, he's really
quite nice. When he remembers to close cupboard doors after him (his nickname
at home is The Poltergeist).
took my breath away. And made me feel a bit queasy. And then laugh quite a bit.
I knew I had hit pay dirt. Here are some examples of that survey*:
wanted a cup of tea, so he put the electric kettle on. On the gas ring.
• Mark was
economical, and always kept leftovers for the next day. So economical, he
wouldn't buy cling film so instead put the plate of leftovers in an old carrier
bag he'd dig out from under the sink. Macaroni with Sainsbury's receipt,
attempted to wash a wool jumper by just throwing some neat alcohol onto the
dirty bits. I'm pretty sure that's in Good Housekeeping.
• Some blokes
are more creative with their bad blokiness: Darren elaborately constructed
stories about why he and his girlfriend should leave the party early/curtail
the weekend break/don't bother going to see his great aunt. Strangely enough,
those things always coincided with Arsenal playing …
In my novel,
my heroine Molly sets out to calmly retrain some hapless blokes who need plenty
of help in the romance department. The thing is, she starts to get a little bit
convinced of her own perfection. And being bossy, a bad listener and stubborn
aren't exactly the best girlfriend behaviours… Luckily the tall and snarky
Patrick is there to give as good as he gets.
I want to
hear YOUR bad boyfriend experiences, please. The lamer the better. Even better
if you have any tips on training blokes out of bad habits. You can reach me at
@poppydwriter or my Facebook page, Poppy Dolan Books. Come and say hello!
* All the
names of these men have been changed to save their girlfriend's embarrassment.